Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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