I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
