Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
