I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
