you're like a bully in the Christmas story
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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