I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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