Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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