Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
