remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
