there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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