We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
