Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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