he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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