my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
