you're like a bully in the Christmas story
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
