I just gift wrapped bread.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
