Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
