Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I pour the whiskey from now on
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
