I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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