There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
