hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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