I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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