my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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