If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
