sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
