i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
