I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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