these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
