We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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