Just fell off a train. Bad.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
