If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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