You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
