i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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