YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
