I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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