I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i wish my penis had a tongue
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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