My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
