ugly people sure do ruin things
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
