This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I CAN MOONWALK!
Welp...herpes.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
