walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
