Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
