Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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