I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
