Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
