i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
