I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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