im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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