Say something about gay babies.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
