You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
