Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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