True but thats because hes a fetus.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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