therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
